I have been in your place
in those
cold mental stirrups
and pink paper gown
staring
at black and white shapes shifting
on the screen, searching for a
follicle –
A small hope of what might be.
I have heard the advice
Eat this;
take that.
Try
this, not that.
Just
relax; just adopt.
Maybe
it’s not meant to be.
From those who mean well but cut deeper.
I will be your shoulder to cry on
When
your body says it’s impossible,
but your
heart says, “It is everything.”
When
your numbers come back too high or too low
and you
feel like a pin cushion.
Because you are tired, just so tired.
I will pray for you
As the
bills pile up, and insurance won’t pay.
When you
throw away another test
that you
just knew would be your
blue line, plus sign, or happy face.
And hope that one day you will find your peace.
I will always remember
The
shots, the maybes, and the disappointments
Even though they are faded by morning
sickness,
swollen feet, labor pains, and
a whole new
kind of tired
Because they brought my miracle to me.
